New wall Street lingo:

• - CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer
• - CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer
• - Bull Market- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
• - Bear Market- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery and the husband gets no sex.
• - Value investing- The art of buying low and selling lower.
• - P/E Ratio- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
• - Stock analyst- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
• - Stock split- When you ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
• -  Market Correction- The day after you buy stocks.
• - Cash flow- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
• - Profit- An archaic word no longer in use